Fly with the Phoenix

It’s not wrong to drool
December 12, 2009, 3:13 pm
Filed under: Personal Transitions | Tags: , ,

Major drama again with teen daughter. I’ll spare you all the details, but needless to say, I was pretty upset yesterday. However, rather than allow the sadness and frustration to overtake me, I had a major personal breakthrough; I did something nice for myself. I had a professional massage.

To me, a massage is something I desire but the cost usually keeps me from indulging. It’s cheaper to buy a new lipstick or one chocolate truffle. Yesterday was a different story and that was huge for me. I called my neighborhood Massage Envy (joined a couple of months ago) and they had an opening in 30 minutes. I dashed to the car.

Once there, my therapist healed my cares and stress with a marvelous 65-minute relaxation massage that was so fantastic I caught myself drooling at the end–you know, like when you’re just about to fall asleep and you feel that little drool trickling down the outside of your mouth? Okay, gross, but had to paint the picture for readers! Anyway, I laughed and said “Sheila, this has been a successful session; I’m drooling!” and she laughed softly and replied “well, that’s what this is about, making you feel good.”

How profound was that? I’ll bet Sheila had no idea the impact her words would have on me, but while I was enjoying my delicious bowl of chicken noodle soup following my session, I wondered why I didn’t do more self-care. How come I resort to it only when I’m so bummed or stressed that it’s more like a medical procedure than a glorious hour of celebrating me?

Author and counselor Sarah Hart (A Mother Apart: How to Let Go of Guilt and Find Happiness Living Apart From Your Child) writes “My work with women in personal and professional development groups has an important focus in encouraging women to think twice about putting others first,” and she goes on later in the chapter to write “If we want to build healthy relationships with our children, we need first to have a healthy relationship with ourselves.”

Maybe I felt less guilty about spending $49 plus gratuity on myself for a massage because I read that chapter the night before (couldn’t sleep worrying about my daughter) but ladies, I’m here to say give yourselves a break! Do something special for you first thing today. It doesn’t have to involve much money if that’s a consideration for you. Spend the morning in bed reading with a cup of tea instead of rushing out the door on errands or starting the laundry. There’s nothing wrong with caring for yourself, and we all need to stop putting that off. For some terrific pampering, check out or leave a comment to share your favorite way to care for yourself so others can gain from your wisdom!

I drooled on the massage table, and I’m proud of that.


1 Comment so far
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Such a good reminder, Debbie. We simply cannot be effective caretakers when we are not taking care of ourselves. It’s not a luxury, it’s a necessity. And you’re right that it doesn’t always have to cost a lot. For me, spending two hours in a bookstore (no need to buy anything) or the library is relaxing and helps me get in touch with topics I’m interested in. Thanks for the reminder!

Comment by Sharon Reus

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