Fly with the Phoenix

Gracious Parenting is Possible While Living Apart
October 6, 2010, 1:28 am
Filed under: Family Transitions | Tags: , , ,

By Judy Graybill

The prevalence of divorce causes the separation of many parents from their children. That makes it more difficult for both parents to have the same quantity and quality of time with their children. This is regardless of the level of custody. Continue reading


Don’t let the weight of waiting get you down
September 23, 2010, 2:40 am
Filed under: Personal Transitions | Tags: , , , ,

This weekend, a friend of mine and I wrestled for most of the day trying to install new blinds. Doesn’t sound like a big deal, but for a bit of background, my bedroom has been without blinds for about five weeks or so. Foolishly, I tossed the old ones after painting because they were so beat up, but didn’t think that it could be a little while before I could buy new. So installing a little bit of privacy was indeed a big deal for me. However, this little luxury would have to wait, which is something God knows isn’t a strong personality trait of mine. Continue reading

Three lessons from Eat Pray Love
August 31, 2010, 1:30 am
Filed under: Personal Transitions | Tags: , , ,

Like millions of women across the world, I recently saw “Eat Pray Love” with a couple of girlfriends. It was a complete estrogen fest with popcorn (too much butter, excess salt), and it was terrific. While the movie is enjoyable, the book’s better (as is usually the case), but then, the book doesn’t allow us to look at Javier Bardem as love interest Felipe.

But beyond the eye candy and amazing scenery, women transitioning from being part of a couple to single again can eat up the lessons to be found in this story. Those would be: engage in serious self-care, seek your Higher Power, and find your life’s center or balance. Continue reading

Divorce: The Sequel
August 17, 2010, 2:55 am
Filed under: Family Transitions | Tags: , ,

I saw a neighbor today, a woman I haven’t seen in several months. Chit chat, I find as a newly divorced woman, is increasingly awkward. “The Question” is inevitable and almost always causes the person on the other end of the conversation discomfort. I want to squirm, too. So, after the niceties about our kids, “the question,” came in the form of “so how’s married life?” I explained I was divorced, and she said, “What? AGAIN?” Continue reading

Step-parents walk the line called discipline
August 8, 2010, 5:58 pm
Filed under: Family Transitions | Tags: , , ,

Two people recently asked questions that reminded me of the unique challenges step-parents face. There is a duality to their role, and often, the balance can be hard to strike. Continue reading

Painting a new picture for yourself

I’m redecorating my bedroom. I thought it was time; nine years and a lot of water under the bridge–the place was ready for an update.

Anyway, the people who lived in my house before me must have had trouble hanging window treatment hardware as there are five anchor holes on each side of my window, and as I was covering them with compound, I thought about the similarities between my house and me. We share scars and holes but each is getting a fresh coat of paint, a fresh start. Continue reading

Finding your sassy solitude

One of my favorite groups growing up in the 1970s was Three Dog Night. They recorded a song “One,” in which the lyrics state “one is the loneliest number.” For recently separated or divorced adults–especially women–there is a period of pronounced discomfort as they learn to live alone. Author Erica Manfred examines why women sulk about living single in her book “He’s History, You’re No,” and the reason goes back to when we lived in caves. Continue reading