Fly with the Phoenix

Love who you are first

It’s often said we cannot find love if we cannot love ourselves, and there’s a lot of truth in that. Love Celebration starts with remembering the wonderful things about you and honors those qualities by setting aside time for self care. Do an activity that brings happiness. Take a relaxing bath while listening to beautiful music. Indulge in a nap or enjoy a favorite food. Honor the time you have to yourself.  Continue reading


Make resolution an evolution using these tips
January 15, 2011, 5:31 pm
Filed under: Personal Transitions | Tags: , , ,

Earlier this month, we examined New Year’s resolutions and how changing our thinking, finding motivation, breaking big goals into smaller ones, making a plan and keeping the momentum to stick to the plan will lead to real change. This post goes deeper with some suggestions to help you along your journey to a new and improved you for 2011!

Letting go of old weight. This is the section about weight loss, but not the type you carry around your waist. This is the weight you carry on your heart and soul.

In northern Alabama, there’s a popular shopping attraction, the Unclaimed Baggage Center. Baggage lost by airlines that remain unclaimed or items passengers leave behind are funneled to this warehouse store and sold.

I want you to think of leaving your old emotional baggage at a similar warehouse. Dump it. You don’t need it.

Look within and see what might be a roadblock that prevents you from letting go of old hurt, anger, fear. If you remain angry at someone, maybe you haven’t forgiven that person. By forgiving him, you release yourself. Old hurts often can be healed through forgiveness, too.

If you are anxious or afraid, look for the emotion’s root. Maybe you think you have to tackle something alone, when in truth, we are never alone because God wants to be part of our everyday lives. Knowing we have God on our side gives us a power that enables us to do anything with Him.

Envision what letting go will look like in your life. Dr. Maxwell Maltz, author of the book “Psycho-Cybernetics,” says change is brought about by experience, and experiencing can occur subconsciously. Our subconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between real and unreal. It accepts what we feed it.

By envisioning what letting go of your hurt, anger and fear, your subconscious mind will start to feel the first fruits of recovery. You’ll be drawn to put these imagined steps into real practice.

If you want to explore forgiveness or letting go in your life, leave a comment at the end of this article so I can contact you directly.

Quitting a bad habit. When I coach someone who wants to make changes in her life, I listen for distortions. These are statements directed inward that people accept as truth. Often after exploration, they can see that these statements are not grounded in fact but it’s how they perceive their facts.

Freeing yourself of a bad habit–over-eating, drinking, using drugs, smoking, spending too much, gambling, whatever behavior that keeps your life unbalanced–usually involves one or more distortions.

Example of a distortion: “I can’t quit smoking. I’ve tried before but started up again after a few weeks.”

I might follow that statement with a question like, “What would happen if you did stop?” or “What is keeping you from stopping?”

When we want to stop a harmful behavior, it’s another example of the God-implanted alarm system that tells us what we’re doing is going against His life plan for us. We are not designed to be enslaved to alcohol, junk food or prescription meds. We were made to life abundantly and joyfully, walking our life journey with our Creator.

It makes sense, then, to go to our Creator and ask for help to get rid of the behaviors that enslave us. And we do that by confessing the sin to God, who in turn will cleanse our hearts and become a part of our recovery.

Next week: The nuts and bolts of change

Making a New You in the New Year

Welcoming a new year can be filled with hope. We leave the past and march toward a shiny new set of 12 months. A new year is one of the most hopeful transitions anyone can make.

This month’s article at discusses how we can learn to successfully make lifestyle changes if we understand it’s not a resolution but rather an evolution, find our motivation, make a plan and keep our momentum for change through personal accountability and a support network waiting to come to our aid when necessary. I invite you to read all of the article and contact me with your questions or comments.

This month’s series will show Fly with the Phoenix readers how to incorporate these principles to improve your personal and professional life. This first post looks at our authentic selves and how to enhance these traits. Continue reading